The Concuspidor:

So here we are, then. Although I would have expected a Grand Wizard to live somewhere a bit less squalid. And the architecture seems a bit drab.

How very kind of that Magentabeard to see his way to dropping us off here, out of their way. I suppose it's to be expected when I am so magnanimous in victory, when technically I could have won their ship and ordered them to bring me here. And that last touch - giving them their clothes back instead of having Cog pack them in his bag and bringing them with us - well, I am just so very noble in my dealings with the common losers around me. I should think I will have a left a lasting impression on that ship and her crew.

Ridiculous boatmanship of that idiot pirate to let me get out of the wrong side of the boat... most undignified... now my boots are full of pebbles and seaweed.