The Concuspidor:

Such predictable chaps, pirates. Can't resist a challenge. The thing to remember is they're bad losers if you beat them too soon... best not to start the clean-out until you've won the weaponry off them, anyway.

A routine arrangement here, I think. I think I'll let the apes win with clubs for next two hands and we'll lose the first three rounds of diamonds. Probably best if we play no picture cards until they're on the winning streak. Might be useful to have a Queen of Hearts standing by, though. (sniff, sniff))