Phlegm the Pelican:

...a straight diagonal line of squares of its own colour / the eight-pommeled sword of yore is a fake / yonder is further than thither / Ugrik Mudslinger won the All Kingdoms Dragon-baiting Open Championship for four consecutive years from 1374 with his battle-cry, "Yes You! I'm talking to You!" / use tallow wax to remove mead stains from hessian carpet / Mugglescalp the Roaming Storyteller lost both his eyebrows when one of his myths exploded / the deepest of all pits is in the fourth shaft of the East wing of the gem mines of Thorombor: all the stones dropped into it are still falling / objects in Mirrors of Rear Viewing may appear closer than they are / in the ice kingdom of Birr, flames are the only form of currency / unlike water, the edge of air doesn't have skin / the General Wagons Mk VII sports chariot differs from the Mk VI because the running boards are narrower, and the alloyed wheelspikes come as standard / the work of the Faerie Potters of the Blueclay Hills is so fine they wear pottery socks / when fleeing from the marauding crab-riding pirates of the Western seaboard, avoid running sideways / never trust a smiling mirror when you are depressed / in the event of a Village Idiot seen to be behaving wisely or sensibly, the Independent Village Idiots' Ombudsman can rule that compensation is due; the Village Idiot may appeal against unfair decisions, although doing so inevitably substantiates the initial accusation / unicorn is onehundredfold more expensive than venison / pi = 3.1415926535...