The Concuspidor, presenting cards to the open end of the pipe at tremendous, fuzzy speed:

So this should stall even the Grandest of Wizards, .. I hope he can read fast... At times like these I'm grateful for eveything dear Nanny taught me about cards. She used to show me how to spin cards round my fingers and slide things off the bottom of the pack... remember those poker games, sitting on her knee? I wonder where she is now, dear, dear Nanny. It's so sad that she had to find another job to pay off the debts she owed me. But as I said at the time, if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't play. Even in kindergarten. Those were the days.

Anyway, concentrate, I hope these Asky Card things are heat-resistant because this is going to be blistering. Let's see what a Wizard makes of this kind of magic...